Whiz of the Web: Wednesday Whiz-Up

The best of the internet, squirted out in flavorful neon globules, just for you.

• It's been a while since we linked to Monkeys In the News, so please enjoy this picture of a howler monkey on a toilet, as well as this particularly astounding photo of a monkey which is on a goat which is on a tiny platform which is balanced on a highwire.
• We had some Oscar odds for you a while back, but it sounds like the smart man bets with Ebert; apparently he was spot on almost all the way down the line last year, so check out his picks for this year, because these are probably the winners. (Via)
• Francis Ford Coppola isn't even done Youth Without Youth yet, his first movie in 10 years, and he's already announced his next project, a semi-autobiographical film called Tetro starring Matt Dillon.
• A trailer! We like trailers. This one's for Guy Pearce's new movie, a supernatural thriller called First Snow. He plays a hustler and salesman for whom everything is going well until he ends up stranded in the middle of nowhere and gets a disturbing fortune from a psychic, who tells him his doom will come with the first snow. He tries to escape his fate, but we're betting things don't turn out well. Looks good! (Via)
• Wired's got a gallery of photos from this year's American International Toy Fair, which started on Sunday and ends today. Mainly we just like the LEGO Batman.
• It's generally agreed that the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise has been circling the drain for some time now. And frankly, we've been playing the original on Wii's Virtual Console and can't really remember why people ever liked it that much in the first place. Luckily, 1UP is here to save the day with a guide on how to save Sonic. (Via)
• For the benefit of those of you who find yourselves seeking a partner on this most partner-centric day of the year, we present Blue Compass Dating's top ten online dating rules, with comments and add-ons by Shiny Shiny. This has a European focus, since Shiny Shiny and Blue Compass are both based in the UK, but these rules look like the type that apply worldwide.
• "Battlestar Galactica" has been picked up for another season. We hope this means the series will get really good again, because lately we've been a little disappointed in it. Where's the intensity, bitterness, brutality, intelligence, and crazy action that made us fall in love with this show in the first place?
• More trouble for Sony! Their UK head of sales just quit, only a few weeks before the European launch of the PS3. Sometimes we feel bad for having a severe case of schadenfreude whenever something bad happens to Sony. But then we just laugh anyway.
• Science says Wii-ing is good for you! We need to talk our boss into letting us set up a console in the office, for health reasons. Oh, and also, women who play video games have sex more often. Is there anything video games can't do?!
• As part of a campaign against drunk driving, New Mexico is going to install new high-tech urinal cakes in restrooms across the state which talk to you when you approach the urinal and trip a motion detector. Apparently they speak in a female voice which says, "Hey there, big guy. Having a few drinks? It's time to call a cab or ask a sober friend for a ride home." Okay, fighting drunk driving is important and all, but... that's pretty creepy.

Image Credit: Flickr user fernando_graphicos