It’s Time Again for Compulsory Love Day!

Ah, Valentine's Day: refuge of the uninspired lover and bane of the singleton's year. Fear not! We present our annual offbeat V-day guide, guaranteed to add some flair to the red-heart holiday (whose idea was it to put a celebration of love and relationships smack in the middle of the great gray beast February anyway, we ask you?).

Ancient Girls Gone Wild
The Young Friends of Penn Museum present their second annual look into the steamy side of the ancient world. This year promises “salacious details” of “romantic vixens’” lives, and a cash bar. Salacious + alcohol? Sign us up!
University of Pennsylvania Museum of Archeology and Anthropology
Thursday, February 8, 6:30 p.m.
$5

And speaking of steamy trips to the museum…
Watson Adventures is running their Naked at the Art Museum scavenger hunt, of which Phillyist is very fond. Go with a team, or they’ll fix you up with some folks. What better way to make new friends than trying to decide if that really is a nipple, or just a drip of paint?
The Naked at the Philadelphia Museum Scavenger Hunt for Valentine’s Day
Saturday, February 10, 2 to 4:30 p.m.
Saturday, February 17, 2 to 4:30 p.m.
$25 which includes museum admission

Tigers and Gorillas Gone Wild
If you’re more into the whole nature vibe, check out the Zoo’s Animal Mating Tour and Brunch. Spend your Sunday morning learning about courtship behaviors of wild beasts; we're pretty sure it won’t be as scary as the courtship behaviors of the wild beasts at the bar the night before. The tour will be followed by a champagne brunch; no word on whether a penguin will maitre-d'. It’s not cheap, but then do you really expect to see animals getting it on for free? That’s what the Internet is for.
Philadelphia Zoo
February 11, 2007 10:00 am – 1:00 pm
$75 per person. $150 per couple.

(On another animal note, the Zoo reminds us that you can adopt a zoo resident for your sweetie. Nothing says love like a gift-wrapped African lion.)

Is the massage oil demo before or after the kissing contest?
Lush, purveyor of fine bath and body products, is throwing a Love to Love You Baby party at their Center City store, replete with “interactive demonstrations” of some decadent treats. Also promised are fun games including kissing contests for couples and singles. We’re not sure how they pair up the smooching singles, but if they rub some of that Soft Coeur massage bar on us we might kiss just about anybody.
Lush
1428 Walnut St.
Saturday, February 10, 5:00 PM - 8:00 PM
Free

Can't go wrong with free chocolate
All through the month of February, Cereality is "wedding" itself to the new LIFE Chocolate Oat Crunch Cereal. They'll add it to some yogurt for you (sweetly named "Chocolate Comes to Life"), swap it into the Life Experience blend in lieu of plain old Life, and will even top it with some triple chocolate chips for your sugar-fix pleasure. It's available all month long, but on February 14th they'll be giving out free scoops of the stuff. We've always maintained that chocolate is a good and valid part of the holiday tradition.
Cereality Cereal Bar & Café
3631 Walnut Street
February 14, 6:30 am - 7 pm

Please see above for our thoughts on chocolate
The Grey Lodge Pub hosts Love Is in the Air and in the Glass, its annual V-day celebration. They promise to have Flying Fish Love Fish on tap, as well as Rogue Chocolate Stout and/or Barley Creek Chocolate Porter. We've never had chocolate plus beer, but can't think of one good reason we wouldn't like it. They're also offering a Valentine's meal with entree, salad, and dessert for just $18. Hopefully, dessert will involve more chocolate.
The Grey Lodge Pub
6235 Frankford Avenue
215-624-2969
February 14
Dinner $18, served from 5 pm on

And for those very secure in their relationships...
Downstairs at World Cafe Live they'll have a free screening of what should absolutely not be the movie that you see on your first date with somebody, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Don't get us wrong, this surreal, beautiful, contemplative film (directed by Michel Gondry, written by Charlie Kaufman, starring Jim Carrey, Kate Winslet, Elijah Wood, Mark Ruffalo, David Cross, Kirsten Dunst, and Tom Wilkinson) about a couple who decide to get their memories of their relationship erased after it self-destructs is truly fantastic. But it also delves in great detail into what love and being together is really all about, and how very hard and painful it can be. Luckily, the World Cafe is serving a special Valentine's Day Dessert Menu to help those tough thoughts and emotions go down easier.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Downstairs at World Cafe Live
3025 Walnut Street
February 14, doors 9PM, show 9:30PM
215-222-1400
Free

Image Credit: Flickr user anniebee