I See Weird People: Slimy Men. Literally.

I spent all of last weekend quarantined in my apartment with what I’m calling whooping cough, but is probably closer to the flu. Or just a truly evil chest cold. This means that I didn’t actually see anyone (except for my darling old roomie, who stopped by to bring me her mother’s fabulous chicken soup). But, as I’ve mentioned, I live in a prime eavesdropping location. And when you haven’t got cable, don’t own movies, and can’t stop coughing long enough to fall asleep, eavesdropping is unavoidable. Here’s my favorite overheard cell phone conversation of the weekend:

“Yo I can’t believe you stood me up outside Tiki Bob’s. I was gonna take you to that party over at Finnegan’s... Dude, what the hell? Where are you now?... Naw, I’m not there anymore. I’m gonna go to Smoke’s… Yo, wait, I need to call you back. I have a loogie the size of North Dakota in my throat.

Image of fake cheese via foodsubs.coms.