Gift Card Registration?! Fuckoff

Having received an Au Bon Pain gift card, my initial happiness ("FILL YERS BOOTS WHILE YA CAN MATES 'CAUSE WHEN WE GET BACK TO SCOTLAND IT'S McCAIN'S OVEN CHIPS TILL FUCK KNOWS WHEN"*) was a bit derailed by the ensuing application process. Granted, logging in to write this post has taken time itself, but the damn registration page for the gift card was insistent that I fill in ALL my details. Fucking gestapo requirement for credentials. You shouldn't have to be reminded of the DMV when someone buys you a giftcard. Anyway, here's what I gave them:

Hector "El Diablo" Sanchez
Kiss my ass $7 sandwich place
123 Hopper St.
Fuckoff withthis
Philadelphia, PA 19107
215-555-0011
bfyh@hotmail.com

Thank you corporate America for making an otherwise juvenile moment completely acceptable.

*The quote is from Irvine Welsh's excellent short story "Disney Matter"

Image Credit: Flickr user misocrazy