Return to Sender: Retail [Needs] Therapy

Dear Retailers:

I know that it's the holidays, and you're experiencing a serious crunch right now. I know that you have to hire part-time staff this time of year. I know that it's hard to train them while there are so many other things going on in the store. I know all of these things. I understand.

What I don't understand is how you could fail to teach your seasonal employees important skills like using a cash register and bagging purchases.

I try to choose the shortest line, or at least the line in which the people have, collectively, the fewest number of items to buy, when I shop. It's common sense. Most people do it. On a recent shopping trip, I chose the shortest line and then watched as customers in the other lines flew through the checkout area. I, apparently, was stuck with the new guy. Watching him try to ring up purchases (he just couldn't get the bar codes to scan), then take the security tags off the clothing he was ringing up (those machines require the precision of a bulldozer), then fold it (as small as possible to assure maximum wrinkling!) was agonizing. When it was my turn to get rung up (I stood in line for nearly fifteen minutes, even though there were only three people ahead of me, and none were buying more than five items), I handed you my credit card, but you hit the "cash" button, and had to void the whole transaction and ring me up again. And then fold everything again. It took ten minutes.

But it's not just the clothing retailers who have problems. Now, I don't eat eggs very often, but I still know that eggshells are pretty fragile. I was at the grocery store recently, and people were already stocking up for Channukah and Christmas and whatever other seasonal holidays they're celebrating, and I saw a bagger put the egg carton at the bottom of a bag. That's fine, if you're loading lightweight items (like marshmallows) on top. Less so if you're putting a few cans of soup in the bag. The woman making the purchase was digging through her purse for her wallet, so she couldn't have noticed what was going on. I just wonder how many broken eggs she discovered when she got home.

Breakable objects in general seem to be at-risk when seasonal employees are involved. It's not hard to wrap an object in tissue paper to keep it from breaking, and yet somehow, things still get broken. The day after Thanksgiving, I watched a store employee put what looked like a very expensive Christmas ornament down on the counter at the cash register, not seeming to notice or care that the ornament was spherical and, therefore, roll-able. The counter wasn't level and as soon as the woman lifted her hand from it, it rolled across the counter and crashed to the floor. Needless to say, it didn't survive the fall.

I think, retailers, that you should know better by now. You already anticipate the holiday crowds. Why not improve the situation by hiring your seasonal employees a little earlier? Say, October? You've already got the decorations out, you might as well have the staff, too.

Seriously, you're gonna want to watch that video.