Love in the Time of... Retail

Right before college graduation, a bunch of my friends and I found ourselves wondering how we’d meet guys after college. A bit into the conversation, we decided we’d probably meet them the same ways we had thus far: through friends, at bars, same old, same old. Then someone wondered, “Hey, what about at work?”

This was a new concept for us. Yes, we were all aware that dating a co-worker is generally a bad idea. But what about people you meet at work, but don’t necessarily interact with on a daily basis? Guys from other company branches? Clients who aren’t your own? This idea seemed to have potential… for everyone but me.

My main source of income is retail. My specialty is high-end toiletries. I knew before I started my job that the odds of meeting a guy through it were slim to none. I had originally assumed that straight men would never come into my store, or if they did, they would be accompanied by a wife or girlfriend. I had a lot to learn.

We are well into the age of metrosexuals, and that means that there are actually many straight men who come into my store. Some of them are, in fact, single. Or, at least, I assume they are. I had one man come in and tell me how beautiful he thought I was as he sorted through a large wad of money, though his purchase was under ten dollars. After receiving three winks during his fifty dollar bill shuffling routine, I informed him I could make change for whatever he gave me, but that I was pretty sure I had already seen a ten, and that would be the easiest way to finish the transaction. Normally, though, I get more than my fair share of incredibly not smooth men asking me if the way they smell appeals to me. To which I must fight the urge to reply, “I am not a hound dog. You are not my prey. Get out.”

As I suspected, though, lots of the men who come in are either married, or are stopping by at the request/suggestion of a significant other: e.g., he needs a birthday gift, or she’s suggested it’s time to move beyond the world of Lever 2000. Either way, said man is unavailable…one would think.

There was one man who always came in with a woman, so I assumed they were together. But then he always tried to flirt with me, so I thought maybe she was just a good friend. The last time I saw him, it was first thing on a Saturday morning. He was talking to me at the register, telling me how he couldn’t believe I’d managed to wake up so early on a Saturday morning, since he was “sure” I’d “been out partying all night with guys,” and that he “bet” I’d “be a lot of fun to party with.” His female shopping buddy was scowling in the doorway.

The next time I saw his female shopping partner, she not so subtly dropped a picture in front of me. It was of the two of them posing with a little boy sitting on their laps. I assumed he was theirs. Then I assumed he was a very bad man.

Dear College Friends,

Love,
Katie

Photo courtesy of this site.