Monday Manners: Rules of the Dance Floor

I was recently at a dance club with a few of my friends, and I realized that the dance floor is positively ripe with etiquette faux pas. I've written in the past about how to ask a girl to dance, so I'll leave that be for today.

But here's the thing: dance floors are often small and crowded. There's no such thing as personal space on the dance floor, so you have to be especially courteous of those around you. That means two things.

First of all, try not to spill your drinks on the floor. It makes the floor slippery, and that can make people fall. And if the floor is especially crowded, it can make them fall into other people. And knock them over. Human dominoes. Funny, but really, really dangerous. Along those lines, if you're drinking out of a glass bottle, try really hard not to drop it. Then you have the liquid slipperiness, and the added danger of broken glass. Plus, all that stuff on the floor can lead to clothing and shoes being damaged, and imagine how upset you'd be if it happened to you.

The second thing is to be aware of your body, how you use it, and where all four limbs are at all times. A crowded dance floor is not the right place to show off your mad break dancing skillz. It's not even really the place to show off how you can wave your hands in the air like you just don't care. I once heard—it may have been from a salsa dance instructor—that at a crowded dance club, you should neither expect nor try to get more than one square foot per dancer on the floor. That gives you enough space to take small steps, shake your ass. But not to step on, hit, elbow, or brain (I've seen it happen) other people. Be aware that you are not the king of the dance floor. Chances are, you're not even good enough to be a serf. Unless you're the guy who choreographs all of the video hos on MTV, stay out of the middle of the dance floor. I promise, you're not as good as you think you are.

All in all, remember that you're sharing the floor with other people. With a lot of other people. And they're all there to have fun. So why ruin someone's night by making that person fall or hitting that person in the arm? Everyone will appreciate your fly moves more if you keep them as close to yourself as possible.