Settle for Brian -- Why Not?

My name's Brian. That's me in the picture above. It's not a good picture of me. In fact, it may be the worst picture I've ever taken.

So begins SettleforBrian.com, the answer to all of those pretentious, swishy websites out there that promise love in two clicks and $29.99 a month. Brian doesn't want kids, sports a bald pate and a big nose, and got spurned by EHarmony.com ("I'm completely serious", he says, explaining that the dating website told him that they couldn't match him with anyone). But on the plus side, he's 6'0, well-educated, and "cares deeply" about water safety!

Sounds like a regular George Clooney, right? If you answered "hell no," that's precisely the point. You see, Brian has decided to reject the sheen of the Matches, EHarmony's, and J-Dates of the world and wants you to "settle" for him.

"I know what you're thinking. Settling is admitting defeat. Only losers settle, right? Wrong. Everybody settles."

If you're interested in settling, Brian offers self-aggrandizing t-shirts (featuring the above "lovely" picture). Like your men honest and self-deprecating? Beat the rush and pounce on aging, balding, and sports-obsessed Brian today!