CinePhillyist

Most Likely to Suck: Artie Lange's Beer League - Beware of films whose titles begin with an actor's name in the possessive form! That probably means the movie doesn't have enough going for it on its own merits to bring people into the theater, so they stick some guy's name at the front in a desperate attempt to drag you in based on your enjoyment of his antics. And in this case they're using the name of some guy we've never even heard of, which is an even worse sign. Of course, the movie's also a comedy about an unemployed drunk slacker trying to get his drunk buddies to shape up so their softball team won't get kicked out of the local league, so you already know it's going to be pretty dumb. Still, if you're in the mood for an underdog sports movie loaded with brainless gross-out comedy, this is probably your film.
Trailer
Showing at: The Riverview, The Bridge

Everyone's Hero - This week's computer-animated kid's flick starring the voices of approximately a million Hollywood stars, Everyone's Hero follows young boy and huge baseball fan Yankee Irving as he travels across country with a talking baseball sidekick (hey, every cartoon movie has to have some kind of anthropomorphized object or creature shooting out wisecracks, right?) in a quest to clear his Dad's name and recover Babe Ruth's bat, which was stolen by a crooked security guard on his father's watch. Will he be able to clear his Dad's name and fulfill his baseball dreams at the same time? We're betting...yes. Interesting bit of trivia: this film was originally entitled Yankee Irving and was to be directed by Christopher Reeve. When Reeve died in 2004, directing was taken over by Colin Brady and Dan St. Pierre.
Trailer
Showing at: The Riverview

Gridiron Gang - Yet another uplifting underdog sports movie, except this one is about the Rock (with the help of sidekick Xzibit) organizing and coaching a football team at a juvenile detention center in order to foster pride, self-esteem, and discipline amongst the teens. Looks pretty corny and cliche to us, and we bet Invincible is way better, but you can go if you want to; we won't stop you.
Trailer
Showing at: The Riverview, The Bridge

The Last Kiss - Zach Braff's latest flick, this one (as this Phillyist's wife pointed out to him) seems almost like a thematic sequel to Garden State: it's like the youngsters grew up and are now having to deal with the realities and difficulties of adult relationships - marriage and kids and so forth. Michael (Braff's character) freaks out a bit when he realizes that his 20s are almost over and his girlfriend is pregnant. To make things even more complicated, he and that cute 18-year-old from "The OC" (Rachel Bilson) have just started to fall for each other. Meanwhile, Michael's buddies (one of whom is played by Casey Affleck) are having their own issues with responsibility and fun, and Michael's mother- and father-in-law are trying to fix their tired marriage. Yeah, sounds like this one might be a bit tough to sit through, but we bet there's a great soundtrack! Anyway, keep an eye out for Star's review of the film, which should be popping up on the site later this afternoon.
Trailer
Showing at: The Riverview, The Bridge

The Guatemalan Handshake - Okay, now this one sounds exceedingly odd, although also very intriguing. It's an independent American film, shot in our very own Pennsylvania, about a small town full of wacky and odd characters that experiences a massive power outage at the same time that one of its residents - an eccentric and awkward demolition derby driver - mysteriously disappears. The vanished fellow's best friend, a ten-year-old girl named Turkeylegs, sets out to find him, but instead only discovers that his disappearance has set in motion a series of even weirder events, including cars driving in circles, a woman attending her own funeral, and the sun rising sideways. There's also a pack of wild boy scouts and a lactose intolerant roller rink employee in there somewhere. Did we mention that this film also stars Will Oldham, otherwise known as indie music weirdo Bonnie Prince Billy? Wow. We're not sure what to say about this movie, except we really want to see it. And apparently the director is critically acclaimed for his short films (this is his first feature length film), and this movie has been burning up the festival circuit, so it might even be good.
Showing at: The International House, Saturday @ 7PM ONLY (free!)

Image Credit: Internet Movie Poster Awards