Conjunction Junction, What's Your Function? This Week in Philadelphia Theatre

We probably don’t need to explain that quote, but if we do, just know it’s from our first play in the listings. And hey, Philly theatre is back in full swing, now that PLAF is winding down. Now, on with the listings!

Schoolhouse Rock Live! - Just knowing this play exists is making us remember how to make a bill. September 14-30. Tickets online.

A Prayer for Owen Meany - Baseball…and death! September 14-October 15. Tickets available online.

Master Harold…and the Boys - We’re trying to come up with something snarky to say here, but we just can’t. September 15-October 8. Tickets available online.

Red Herring - That’s a false lead. September 15-30. Tickets online.

Spider’s Web - It’s an Agatha Christie, so expect it to have its share of manners and suspense. September 22-November 19. For reservations, call 610.565.4211.

Angel: A Nightmare in Two Acts - It’s a play about the Holocaust. So, you know, expect the feel-good comedy of the year. Through October 1. Ticket information online.

Steel Magnolias - Another one to make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. If by warm and fuzzy, you mean depressed. September 15-23. Tickets online.

Windy City - This one was written by the guy who wrote “Build Me Up Buttercup.” Kinda makes you want to go, doesn’t it? Through October 22. Ticket information and sales online.

Bad Dates - Yeah, we’ve had our share of those. September 22-October 22. Ticket information online.

The Children of Fatima - So nice, they’re doing it twice. (They’ve brought it back after its first run.) September 22-October 15. Ticket information online.

Clue—The Play - Yes, but is Tim Curry in it? Through September 23. Tickets available online.

Lost in Yonkers - It’s that play set in Yonkers that isn’t Hello, Dolly! Through October 7. Tickets available online.

Feiffer’s People - We’re guessing this will be quite different from You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown, which is currently the only other play-based-on-a-comic-strip we can think of. September 22-October 7. Tickets online.

The Imaginary Invalid - Ain’t nothin’ like a French Farce. Through October 22. Tickets available online.

The Last Five Years - It’s a musical that screws with the space-time continuum. And marriage. Through October 7. Tickets may be reserved, but not purchased, online.

Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding - It’s like My Big Fat Greek Wedding for a South Philly audience. Open run. Tickets and information at 1.800.660.TINA.

Menopause: The Musical - The name says it all, doesn't it? Shows at the Society Hill Playhouse, Wednesday through Saturday at 8 PM, again at 4PM on Saturday, and Sunday at 2 PM and 5:30 PM. Tickets are $45. Call 215.923.0210 for reservations. The Society Hill Playhouse is located at 507 South 8th Street in Philadelphia.

If you've got a theater listing in the Philadelphia area, let us know! Also feel absolutely free to post other listings on the comments page!

Image via The Players Club of Swarthmore.