Growing up in the South, you can find people to be saccharine sweet, and polite almost to a fault. Southerners don't talk about people behind their backs, and they try not to rock the boat when talking amongst strangers. Growing up in the South, you're taught there are four things not to bring up in polite company: money, sex, politics, and religion.

Granted, part of the reason for at least the latter two of those is common-thinking. Many people in the south (not all, obviously) are conservative and Christian; there's no need to bring up either religion or politics in polite company. (I should pause for a moment to define "polite" company. Think of polite company as your acquaintances, not your friends. They're the people who don't know the details of your family life, but who you feel comfortable talking football with. Or, they're friends of your parents or grandparents. You avoid the personal or the scandalous around polite company. You don't start arguments, so you don't bring up topics that can be fought about.)

Whatever you think about the South, you've got to admit that folks there are polite. I'm addressing this topic today because I've heard all of these faux pas out and about on the streets of Philadelphia. The person on the receiving end of the conversation never looks all that comfortable, and rest assured, s/he will come away with a "you'll never guess what so-and-so told me" story.

More after the jump...

Money
Know how in movies, money is rarely spoken of? Guy writes a figure on a piece of paper, folds it in half, slides it across the table? That's because, for the most part, talking aloud about money is considered declasse. It comes from the same school of thought as the Victorian England "a gentleman never knows the balance in his chequebook" mindset. To people with money, money isn't supposed to matter. But even if you don't have money, it's in poor form to talk about your salary, or to ask about someone else's. You shouldn't ask what things cost, with or without being asked. It's one thing when you're in private and amongst friends, but out in public and amongst acquaintances or strangers, finances should, at most, be referred to in general terms, i.e. whether something was cheap or expensive, without an actual dollar amount.

Sex
Surprisingly few people actually give a damn about your sex life. It's sad, but it's true. In fact, unless you're a porn star, fewer people care about your sex life at any one time than you can count on one hand. Telling those people about your sex life is perfectly acceptable, if you're not, say, taking the 42 bus or talking loudly on your cell phone at Border's. Sex is supposed to be at least a little discreet, even when you're having it in public, and once you're out of your fraternity, it's not something to brag about. Especially when you're trying to meet someone at a bar. Or not scar small children in the park. (I'm talking to you, mister phone conversation about your three-way with chocolate syrup and handcuffs while walking through Rittenhouse at 6PM.)

Politics
Talking politics with people who don't share your views is, I've found, a really easy way to sour friendships and make enemies. I actually had a friend get into a bar fight for telling some active Green Party members that Nader was responsible for the outcome of the 2000 election. I mean, a political debate can be fun from time to time, but that should be with a friend whose opinions you know and respect and who you might not agree with but who you also won't hate in the twilight of your conversation. As a rule, if you don't know the party affiliation, or at least the political tendencies, of the person you're talking with, you should avoid politics all together. If s/he brings it up first, so be it. Nothing you can do. It's up to you to decide whether to jump into the mix or to extract yourself by saying, "I'd rather not talk politics with you." Easy as pie.

Religion
Religion might possibly be the one topic more dangerous than politics. If wars are fought over it, rest assured that conflicts with fewer global ramifications can arise from bringing up religion in the wrong setting. I mean, I never try to hide the fact that I'm Jewish, and I'll even talk about it. But there's a difference between identifying yourself as a member of a religion and challenging a person on his or her fundamental belief system. Nobody likes being told s/he is going to hell because of a particular set of beliefs. Nobody likes being challenged on why do/don't can/can't you eat a certain food, work on a certain day, or pray in a certain language. If you've (a) got a joke about a religion that doesn't start with "a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar," and you're (b) not a member of the religion you're about to make fun of, and there's (c) even the remotest chance that a member of that religion might be around you (i.e. you're in public), you need to keep that joke to yourself. But beyond the joking, you shouldn't play the "my god is better than your god" game. It just breeds hate. Few things ruder than that.

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