CinePhillyist

Trust the Man - The opening of the Moviefone description of this film ("A smart, sophisticated comedy about the challenges of love and marriage among modern day New Yorkers") nearly made us vomit. Guess we're a little tired of the escapades of the ultra-hip, ultra-ironic intelligentsia. And actually, the cast also made us a little tired. It's two couples: Julianne Moore as a successful actress and David Duchovny as her stay-at-home husband, and then Billy Crudup as Moore's slacker brother and Maggie Gyllenhaal as his girlfriend. Gyllenhall is also an aspiring novelist, btw. Gack. We hate these people so much already! But actually, Gary Shandling is in here, too, as a therapist, which is a pretty funny idea, and the trailer did make us laugh out loud. So maybe we really just need to chill down and have that sangwich...
Trailer
Showing at: Ritz Five

Jailbait - No, it's not a porn movie. It's actually playwright Brett C. Leonard's first film as writer-director, and it's about a young kid named Randy who gets smacked with 25 years in jail due to one of those three-strikes-and-your-out sentencing policies. His cellmate is a hardened lifer named Jake (played by playwright Stephen Adly-Guirgis - owed Leonard a favor, perhaps?), who at first seems to be trying to help, offering advice and so forth. But inevitably Jake starts abusing Randy, and Randy plans some drastic payback. The Moviefone description warns us that this is a "message" movie (director Leonard is against mandatory sentencing laws), which can be a very bad thing, especially when a playwright is at the helm. And we aren't encouraged by the fact that we couldn't find a trailer. We'll probably avoid this one.
Showing at: The Roxy

Most Likely to Suck: Material Girls - Gasp! It's the new Hilary Duff movie! And this time she's bringing her sister along, too! Yes, it's Hilary and Haylie Duff as - can you believe it - wealthy sisters! We think we're just going to, like, die from excitement! The sisters in the movie are wealthy heiresses to a cosmetics company who think life is one big party - until they lose all their money due to a scandal over one of their products. To save their Dad's company they're going to have to grow up and learn all kinds of important lessons - and you can learn along with them! The only thing interesting about this movie is that the story seems to be a bit of a dig at the Hilton sisters, which is catty and funny. But still not interesting enough to make us actually want to sit through a Hilary Duff movie.
Trailer
Showing at: The Riverview

Accepted - A college comedy in the grand tradition of college comedies, this one is about a kid (Justin Long) who, upon discovering that he's been rejected by every college he applied to, decides to invent a fake university and pretend they've accepted him in order to fool his parents and impress a girl. His rejected friends join in. But in order to fool everyone effectively, they need a campus...a dean...a website... Soon enough things spiral out of control, and people from all over show up to attend. Worse, his parents and the privileged kids from a nearby, real school start poking around and begin to suspect the truth. We actually remember an old SNL skit with a similar premise, but despite that this movie looks like it could actually succeed in being funny - anyway, it's got Lewis Black as the fictional Dean, and that's awesome. If you're looking for something dumb and thoughtless to kill your afternoon, this is probably it. Unless, of course...you'd rather have snakes!
Trailer
Showing at: The Riverview

Most Likely to Rule: Snakes on a Plane - Yes, it's finally here. The first movie made by the internet - figuratively and even literally, at least to a certain extent. What's there to say about it that hasn't already been said some place on the web - or that isn't already explained by its awesomely descriptive title? FBI agent Sam L. Jackson is escorting an important eye witness on a flight, and a crimelord tries to rub out the witness in the most original and idiotic way imaginable: by releasing hundreds of deadly snakes onto the plane. We were tempted to give the "Most Likely to Rule" designation to The Illusionist this week, but then we came to our senses. Sure, Snakes on a Plane won't be a good movie - but we suspect it will be just the right kind of stupid entertainment to enjoy while sitting in a cool dark theater on a hot summer afternoon.
Trailer
Showing at: The Riverview, The Bridge

The Wizard of Oz - The I-House is screening the classic 1939 musical about Dorothy and Toto's voyage to the strange land of Oz as a benefit for the FilmAid International organization. FilmAid's mission is "To use the power of film to promote health, strengthen communities, and enrich the lives of the world's vulnerable and uprooted." Sounds good to us!
Showing at: The International House on Saturday at 2PM ONLY

Image Credit: Insomniac Mania