Across the Ist-a-Verse
Even though its first season is come and gone, I haven't fully formed an opinion of Dog Bites Man on Comedy Central. I wanted to like it more—it was produced by Ali G's team—but maybe my expectations were too high. One episode, though, rang quite true. In it, Kevin Beekin—the middle-aged, balding, chubby network correspondent—is confronted about his Bluetooth problem: he's constantly using his little Bluetooth headset and it's gotten to the point where nobody on his team can tell whether he's talking to them, to himself, or into his phone.
Now, I have one of those Bluetooth headsets. I love it. I think it's an amazing invention. When I'm walking home from the grocery store, bags of healthy epicurean goodness in both hands, it keeps me from having to put everything down and fish for my phone. When I'm home doing the dishes and someone calls me, I don't have to stop what I'm doing in order to hold the phone (you can't cradle a Razr between your ear and shoulder like you can a normal telephone). Not only that, if cell phones can actually cause brain tumors, using the headset could very well save your life.
But here's the deal. Those headsets seem to pick up everything. The breeze created across it as you walk down the street on a perfectly still day can blast the person you're talking to in the ear. Which means, in order for your friend, coworker, or loved one to hear you over the ambient noise, you have to talk louder. Yell, even. Which means, depending on where you are, there's a distinct possibility that you're being rude to the other people around you.
The biggest bit of manners-related advice we can give you is this: if you don't need your headset, don't use it. This will save you the potential embarrassment of seemingly talking to yourself, and will also make those around you happy that you're not yelling. Check after the jump for more Bluetooth dos and don'ts.
Do:
- Use your Bluetooth headset when you're driving. Although studies have shown that talking on the phone—headset or not—is distracting to drivers, it's a fact of life these days. And driving with two hands on the wheel beats driving with one hand on the wheel and one hand holding the phone any day.
- Use your Bluetooth headset when you're trying to multitask. Trust me, it makes you more efficient.
- Use your Bluetooth headset when your hands are full. You shouldn't have to be a professional juggler to take a phone call. You can even set your headset's preferences to auto answer, so you don't even have to reach up and hit the button.
Don't:
- Use your Bluetooth headset in windy or loud areas. It just makes you raise your voice. That means your private conversation isn't private, and you're probably annoying at least a handful of the people around you.
- Fiddle around with your headset, trying to determine whether it's turned on and working, all the while yelling into it. The person on the other end is either waiting for you or going deaf from the yelling, and the people around you are not happy that you didn't just open your phone and hit "send."
- Be like Kevin Beekin and use your Bluetooth headset in an attempt to be discreet. If you're out and you need to take a call, excuse yourself and go take the call. Don't have an ambiguous conversation that may-or-may-not be directed at those you're with. It's rude to your company and to the person who called you.
- Make phone calls for the sake of using your Bluetooth. When you're out in public, there's no reason for you to call your best friend to find out about her new haircut. Screaming into your Bluetooth just makes it more aggravating to those around you.
- Answer a fake call on your Bluetooth to get out of a situation you don't want to be in. It lights up when you're using it, so no call, no light. Douchebag.
Next time, Monday Manners will discuss the topics you're not supposed to bring up in polite company.
The floating Bluetooth headset above comes from this site (in Spanish).
add to stumble upon
add to reddit
tweet this
post to facebook
Don't: Wear your Bluetooth all the time, whether you're using it or not. You look like a tool. ;)