This Week in Celebrity...

...Stupid: This footage is old, but it's been making its rounds on the interweb this week, and it's a fine example as to why Britney Spears and Kevin Federline should never have been allowed to reproduce. (Via The Superficial.)

...Skank: We're almost ready to retire this category; it's just too obvious to keep posting Paris Hilton links. (Via Egotastic!)

...Divorce: Usually, if you're going through a divorce, and you change your locks, your soon-to-be ex has a bodyguard help her get her in despite said new locks, it's not "hilarious." It's illegal. (Via Yahoo!)

...Waxes, Not Bikini: Jenna Jameson is the first adult film star ever immortalized by Madame Tussaud's. What, no Ron Jeremy? (Via News America Now.)

...Republicans: Dennis Miller. (Via SeattlePI.com.)

...Puppets: Sesame Street is about to have a new star. We're excited at the introduction of a female lead, but we miss the old days. (Via UPI.)

...Demotion: Tom Cruise isn't the big moneymaker he once was. Surprise! (Via The Times Online.)

...Open Mouth, Insert Foot: When someone in your line of work is more powerful than you, is it really wise to anger him? (Via New York Daily News.)

...It's On! This is soon to become our favorite YouTube video—there's no way this baby won't make it up there. (Via SFGate.com.)

...Sexual Harassment, Sorta: Time again for David Hasselhoff news. Huzzah! (Via The Hollywood Rag.)

...Addictions, Non-Chemical: Kate Moss, will you ever learn? (Via D-Listed.)

...Lofty Ambitions: We say let 'er go. (Via Egotastic!)

...Lessons that Should Have Been Taught to Mel Gibson: Robin Williams has checked himself into rehab before his drinking could become a problem. (Via People.)

...Movie Parallels: Bruce Willis has found himself inching dangerously close to Single White Female. (Via Yahoo!.)

Class: Britney Spears is so fashion-forward that Phillyist simply cannot handle it. (Via The Superficial.)