Monday Manners: Can’t We All Just Get Along?

People, people, people!

The internet is, in many regards, a beautiful thing. It lets us do things that we wouldn’t ordinarily do. Like bid in auctions and watch a lot of porn. It also allows us [almost] complete anonymity. So we can be a lot ruder than we ordinarily would in person. Forums, message boards, and listservs are ripe for anonymous examples of bad manners. People even start flame wars on YouTube. And we’ve noticed, lately, that some of you commenters have been less than friendly to us – and to each other. We can take it if you don’t like us. In fact, we sometimes get our masochistic jollies from your comments. But when you start insulting each other, folks, you’re hurting us.

There are polite ways to express your opinions without actually insulting the people you’re expressing your opinions to. You might begin by saying, oh so politely, “with all due respect,” before you convey to a previous commenter that you think s/he is wrong, wrong, wrong. Or, you could begin with the oh-so-blog-friendly “IMHO.” Nobody likes being told that his opinions are wrong. They are, after all, merely opinions. So make it clear that you’re only expressing yours, and while you may not agree with someone else’s, you absolutely respect his/her right to it.

Name calling, cursing, slander, and other insults should be strictly off-limits. They’re rude, and they make the other people reading the posts feel a little uncomfortable (we’ve had this confirmed privately by a few readers). Prove your point in a more polite way and get on with your life. The internet isn’t real, and spending your time attacking fellow commenters like they’re opposing political candidates is a waste of your life. Comment, sure – we love getting comments! – but try to be a little more positive, even if you’re being critical, okay?

You’ll note that on Phillyist, and on several other sites with comment features and message boards, e-mail addresses are not linked to comments, although personal websites can be. If you wish to engage a fellow commenter in a private discussion, its best to visit his personal website (if linked), or to suggest on the message board that you move the conversation elsewhere. Phillyist cannot condone the sharing of personal information over the web, but we can stress that the best-mannered means of communication are often done on a more personal level.