Long-deceased (you can tell by the haircut) French literary critic and poet Nicholas Boileau once suggested: “Let a single complete action, in one place and one day, keep the theatre packed to the last.” While we don't necessarily agree with his advice, we've got to admit that the man did have a point. Now, on with the listings!
A Number - If it’s not forty-two, then we’re confused. May 9-June 4 at the Wilma. Tickets online.
Closer Than Ever - Ooh, we smell a musical revue, and we like it! May 12-June 11. Tickets are available online.
Godspell - Because Jesus was actually a hippie. May 9-July 9. Ticket information is online.
Some Men - We must confess: we’ve been waiting for this world premiere show all season, so we can’t be too snarky about it in our listings. We will tell you, though, that this show is going to be gay. (Just not in the bad way.) May 12-June 11. Tickets are available through the production website.
True West - Because Sam Shepard is a god of theatre, and because graphics with cactus are cool. May 11-June 10. For reservations or information call: 215.545.0876.
Agnes of God - For whatever reason, we always kinda confused this with Rosemary's Baby. May 5-21. Tickets online.
As Thousands Cheer - Phillyist loves good satire. And Phillyist loves good musicals. With Irving Berlin providing the music for jokes about Joan Crawford, how could this show go wrong? Through May 20. Ticket information is online.
Baby - Warning: Do not see this show if you're late. (You know what we mean.) Through May 21. Ticket information available online.
The Pirate - Cole Porter's been dead for nearly fifty years, and yet the Prince is staging the world premiere of a Cole Porter musical. Something sounds fishy to us... May 6-28. Tickets may be purchased online.
Devils Also Believe - Now here's a play that's dripping politics! Tickets are online for this May 5-20 run.
Kiss of the Spiderwoman - Tangos in Argentinean prisons make a lot of sense. May 5-20. Tickets may be reserved by calling 215.923.0210.
Smokey Joe's Café - For whatever reason, Phillyist loves this show every time we see it. It must be the music. Through May 13; tickets via TicketLeap.
Twelfth Night - It's totally what that Amanda Bynes movie was based on! May 5-20. Tickets are available online.
A Murder, A Mystery, & A Marriage - It's always nice to know that there are works by Mark Twain that don't leave high schoolers debating: "Was Mark Twain a racist?" Through May 14. Tickets are online.
Killer Joe - It took us a while to figure out if this was a play or a movie. It was the flashing "multi-media" link to a trailer that confused us. But we think it's a play. Through May 28. Tickets and information at 215.922.4462.
The Beginning of August - It's called postpartum depression. Like that thing Tom Cruise doesn't believe in. Through May 13. Tickets may be reserved online.
The Biggest Box of Crayons - We'll need to find the biggest coloring book. Through May 7. Tickets are online. See Phillyist’s review =here.
The Red Mill - This one has a plot, but it's way too complicated for us to even be snarky about. Through May 6. Ticket information online.
The Cherry Orchard - Phillyist has read plenty of Chekhov, but the only Chekhov we've seen on stage is The Seagull. This is not The Seagull. Through May 6. Tickets online.
Cloud 9 - The plot description on the Wilma's website doesn't describe so much, so we're just going to mention the mannequin-in-drag on the poster. Through May 28. Tickets online.
Natural History - Evolution happens on a smaller scale with people's relationships! Who knew? Through May 7. Tickets online.
The Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales - We loved this book when we were younger, and we can only hope the show lives up to it. Through June 11. Tickets online.
The Drawer Boy - City actor, country hicks. Through May 6. Ticket information online.
Exit Date - A visiting friend recently observed that there are a ton of psychics around Philadelphia. That one of them might have this ability frightens us. Through May 7. Call 215.843.1109 for reservations.
Gypsy - It's about the classy kind of stripper. Through May 6. Tickets online.
West Side Story - We can say a lot about this show. But the thing we think we'll share with you is that, as far as Shakespearean adaptations/modernizations go, it's way better than the Leonardo DiCaprio version. Through May 13. For tickets, call 610.296.9245.
A Skull in Connemara - What's the opposite of grave digging? Through May 7 at the Montgomery County Cultural Center. Tickets through TicketLeap.
Reinventing Eden - If you could make your baby a superbaby, you would, right? Through May 7. Tickets online. See Phillyist’s review here.
Much Ado About Nothing - This is the second of this year's Shakespeare Festival shows to open, and it's one of Phillyist's favorites. Because we totally get dysfunctional relationships based on verbal abuse. Through May 21. Tickets available online.
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) - "Here's the story of a brotha by the name of Othello/ He liked white women and he liked green jello." Through May 19, as part of the Philadelphia Shakespeare Festival. Tickets available online.
Menopause: The Musical - The name says it all, doesn't it? Shows at the Society Hill Playhouse, Wednesday through Saturday at 8 PM, again at 4PM on Saturday, and Sunday at 2 PM and 5:30 PM. Tickets are $45. Call 215.923.0210 for reservations. The Society Hill Playhouse is located at 507 South 8th Street in Philadelphia.
If you've got a theater listing in the Philadelphia area, let us know! Also feel absolutely free to post other listings on the comments page!
Image via Dromo's Den.

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