Whiz of the Web: Monday Meat Slices

The best of the internet, chopped into tiny bits and grilled for your enjoyment.

• This is for all the lonely geek ladies out there: a programmable vibrator. The programs are called Grooves, and the Je Joue intimate massager comes pre-loaded with "10 of our finest," says the website. Of course, there's only one thing we can say to that: Oo la la. (Via)
• Kurt Steiner of Emporium, PA set the Guinness World Record for stone skipping on September 14, 2002, and you can watch video of his winning skip here (we recommend the video from camera 2 - 5MB AVI). Final count: 40 skips. (Via)
• Frugal Alert! Check out this list of links to all kinds of free applications for performing pretty much any computer activity you can think of. Stick it to The Man by getting stuff done without paying Him any money! (Via)
• Oops - DNA evidence suggests that Native Americans aren't descended from a lost tribe of Israel after all. LA Times: Back to the drawing board, Mormons! Of course, as a religious studies professor and expert on Mormonism points out in the article (sounding just a bit like Obi-Wan Kenobi), "religion ultimately does not rest on scientific evidence, but on mystical experiences. There are different ways of looking at truth." In other words, the Mormon community is not reality-based, so it's all good. (Via)
• Ever wished you could have, right in your own house, one of those cool secret passageways that you see in movies and read about in books? You know, push the right book and the whole bookcase slides aside? Well, stop wishing, get out your wallet, and head on over to the Creative Home Engineering website (at the cute URL hiddenpassageway.com). For $10,000 you can get a bookcase passageway, a rotating fireplace, or a custom-designed switch installed. Or you can pay $1500 for a DIY kit. Be sure to watch the videos! (Via)
• As a Philly blog, we would be remiss if we did not provide you with these pictures of Rocky action figures from ToyFair 2006. Included is a Mr. T figure covered in (plastic) gold chains, and two disturbingly realistic sides of beef (see pic included above) for Rocky to train on. (Via)
• Speaking of Sylvester Stallone, word is he and Arnold Schwarzenegger are finally going to be in a movie together, as soon as Arnold's term as Governor of California is up, of course. It's an action flick, natch, called Brutal Deluxe. The Movie Blog points out that this star pairing is about six years late, but that it's better late than never; Phillyist would increase that to 20 years, and add that perhaps sometimes it really is better never than late. Neither of these guys has made a good movie in a long time, as far as we can remember, and they're both getting a little old for this shit, as the saying goes.