Return to Sender: Stranded in the City

Dear SEPTA Management:

Please stop pissing the union negotiators off.

We’re sure you think you’ve got a point, too. You want your paid vacations and great insurance plans and paid sick days and ginormous raises. You look down on the plebs who drive the busses and trolleys. And the plebs who ride them. But we can’t all be in the white-collar, middle-management, Passat-powered, ivory towers that you’re in.

Many people in this city actually rely on public transportation. Our own Nicole Wolverton has been keeping readers abreast of how the SEPTA strike is affecting Phillyist readers and writers, but we’re among the lucky ones; we’ve all been able to get where we need to go, despite all the inconveniences. Citypaper, however, reports that attendance in local schools has been down since the start of the strike. Lines in grocery stores, fast food restaurants, and pharmacies have been unusually long because employees have been unable to get to work, leaving them significantly understaffed. Many senior citizens, who see SEPTA as the only thing between living normal lives and being completely homebound, are comparing the strike to a prison sentence. Big cities on the East Coast rely on their public transit systems. Traffic is terrible, parking is often impossible to find and always overpriced. Taxis are convenient when streets aren’t too crowded, but they can get pricey. We need our public transportation, as much as we complain about it, and its drivers, when it’s up and running.

The talks keep breaking down. We’re not there, so we don’t know what’s causing the breakdowns. Maybe you opened with a “your mama’s so fat” comment, and the union countered with a “your mama’s so stupid” remark and things devolved from there. Maybe you were debating Sunday night television – should one watch Desperate Housewives or The Family Guy at nine o’clock. We’ve seen that debate go badly plenty of times. Perhaps one of the union reps came in wearing a white suit and white shoes, and one of you sniggered because it’s after Labor Day and everyone knows that you shouldn’t wear white after Labor Day, and then the shit hit the fan.

We have a feeling, though, that the breakdowns are over more “trivial” things, like maternity leave and insurance and sick days. They might not seem like much to you, but that’s all the more reason to just give in and let the union guys have what they want. We fail to see how it would affect you that adversely. And it just might help Philadelphia, and the rest of Southeastern Pennsylvania, a whole lot.

Besides, our legs are getting awfully tired from all that walking.