31 Days of Halloween: Terror Behind the Walls

Voted the Sixth Best Haunted House in all the land by AOL Digital City, Terror Behind the Walls at Eastern State Penitentiary promises to scare the pants right off of you. Quake in your stylish boots as you are admitted through Intake and harrassed by sadistic security guards. Be wary of the Maximum Security wing, where you're sure to meet a couple of hardened and extremely crazy criminals! Cry out in terror in the 3D Experiment!

But don't touch the convicts, please.

Terror Behind the Walls is open every Thursday through Sunday until the end of October, as well as October 19, 24, 25, and Halloween night. Tickets cost $20-30. Proceeds go toward historic preservation of the prison.

Phillyist being the curious type, we felt compelled to visit this fabled haunted house. We wouldn't say that it's scary in the slightest...unless you're scared by that guy you saw taking a smoke break earlier as he follows you around the maze grunting at you. It was disappointing that quite a bit of the haunted house was actually outside the prison.

Part of having a good time at a haunted house attraction is being able to suspend belief, and perhaps we couldn't believe Eastern State Penitentiary wasn't being used to its full potential. After all, here's a prison that is reputed to be haunted. Simply being in the prison in the dark is frightening as hell. Instead of trying to startle the masses by jumping out at them, why not use the real ghost stories? We can handle a real scare, honestly. Dude, we're Philadelphians. We're tough!