Eagles Fall Short of 49 Against 49ers

Quite frankly, Stephen A. Smith has his finger dug into the neck of this fine city (we think that the neck is located somewhere in Northeast Philly), taking its pulse and converting into prose that reminds us of rainbows. And so, what Stephen A. says is gospel around these parts. Just look at Sunday, for instance: in the Inquirer, Smith took the Eagles to task for their poor offense and the Eagles responded with a poor offensive showing yesterday afternoon, beating the 49ers by a mere 39 points.

The Eagles offense looked sluggish at times, not getting anywhere close to the 49 points all teams are required to score against the 49ers. Donovan McNabb threw for five touchdown passes, far short of the 7 touchdowns required to reach 49 points. David Akers even went and hurt himself, threatening to leave the Eagles extra point-less, which would have left them even farther behind the 49 point mark.

But seriously, Stephen A. seems upset that we don't have all-star back-ups. And really, when the Eagles trounce a team like that, we don't have anything better to do than make jokes about Inquirer columnists. So yeah, here's your recap: Eagles romp, Tony Siragusa's microphone breaks, the Burger King catches a TD pass from Daunte Culpepper after collecting about four hundred interceptions last week and Mark Simoneau kicks an extra point. Also, Simoneau is a placekicker whose last name rhymes with "kimono." We'd totally rip Terry Bradshaw for saying those things, but alas, he doesn't write for the Inky.

Next week, the Eagles play the Oakland Raiders here in Philadelphia. While the rest of the world focuses on T.O. and Randy Moss, we promise to bring you exclusive coverage of the trash talk between Kerry Collins and Donovan McNabb.