We Love the Smell of Missing Fingers in the Morning

Come Fourth of July weekend, we can count on Philly residents with more enthusiasm than brains to take to the streets, illegal fireworks in hand. And we mean that literally. It is not unusual to hear the loud boom of fireworks, followed by gut-wrenching screams, the smell of burning flesh, and then ambulance sirens. Ah, the sweet sound of Philadelphia summers!

Some people never learn to leave it the experts. Or, at the very least, to let go and run away after the fuse is lit.

The PA Department of Agriculture changed the fireworks regulations. Items that are not grounded or that explode have been illegal in Pennsylvania for quite some time, and continue to be illegal. This means anything much past sparklers are verboten. But new laws say that you can buy all the firecrackers, M-80's, and various other fireworks you want in Pennsylvania...as long as you promise, Scout's honor, not to light them here. Drive to Jersey and blow your hand off, OK?

Philadephia is now relaxing its own fire code regulations concerning the use of fireworks, according to CBS 3 Investigative Reporter Walt Hunter:

"Despite demonstrations stressing fireworks safety, two fire department memos obtained by CBS 3 show the city is relaxing regulations and allowing more types of sparklers to be sold at more locations than in the past."

Drinking at family picnics and street parties, combined with more powerful fireworks -- perfect together!

Be careful this weekend, kids -- if you need to make an emergency room run, we fear that you'll be waiting even longer than usual.