May 9, 2008
It seems like all of the news this week surrounded the death of Philadelphia police sergeant Stephen Liczbinski. So it's only fitting—albeit sadly so—that this week's Asshole of the Week be tied into that story as well. As you've certainly read by now, in the wake of Liczbinski's death, Michael Nutter requested that all the flags in the city be lowered to half-staff. We've come to be familiar with, and even accept, this kind of practice. It kind of goes along with all of the media attention that the death of a police officer inevitably attracts. Of course, we have some issues with this phenomenon. Most notably, we don't really support the underlying premise of the public outcry surrounding a police officer's death: that a police officer's life is worth more than an ordinary citizens. We don't think we should mourn an officer murdered in the line of duty any more, or any less, than a civilian who happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and ends up as "just another victim" in the minds of most Philadelphians. But we're getting off the point.
What was the point? Oh right, lowering the flag to half-staff. When Mayor Nutter asked that the flags be lowered to honor Sgt. Liczbinski, Philadelphia Fire Commissioner Lloyd Ayers balked at the request. In doing so, Ayers relied on the United States Flag Code. The Code states, in relevant part:
By order of the President, the flag shall be flown at half-staff upon the death of principal figures of the United States Government and the Governor of a State, territory, or possession, as a mark of respect to their memory... In the event of the death of a present or former official of the government of any State, territory, or possession of the United States, the Governor of that State, territory, or possession may proclaim that the National flag shall be flown at half-staff.Ayers's argument is that federal law permits only the President and state Governors to order flags lowered to half-staff. We respectfully submit that Ayers's logic in relying on the Flag Code under these circumstances is dubious at best, and teeters on idiotic.
Without getting too deep into a debate of statutory interpretation, the Flag Code says that, if the President or the Governor orders the flags flown at half-staff, they shall (i.e. must) be flown at half-staff. (Of course, the Flag Code doesn't have any penalty or enforcement provisions, so take that for what you will.) However, contrary to the assertions of Ayers and Daily News reporter Damon C. Williams, the Flag Code does not state that only the President and Governors may order flags to be flown at half-staff; nothing in the law says that any other executive official cannot order the flags lowered within their own domain of authority. And, more to the point, Mayor Nutter requested that flags be lowered; he didn't "order" anything. By basing his refusal to lower the fire department's flags on the Flag Code, Ayers has basically said, "I'm not doing this because I don't have to." Nice, Lloyd. From now on, how about we all only do what we have to, what we're ordered to do?
And because of that, Philadelphia Fire Commissioner Lloyd Ayers is our Asshole of the Week.
Image via Flickr user amishah.
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Hi there, Wawa:
So listen. Last week, I was at the corner of 20th and Chestnut and there was a Wawa there. Today, I was at the corner of 20th and Chestnut and there was an Old Nelson there.
Now don't get me wrong. I love me some Old Nelson sandwiches. In fact, I'd venture to say that, as a rule, their sandwiches are better than yours. But, like your advertisements say, sometimes you've Gotta Hava Wawa. Especially when you're broke.
I shouldn't be surprised by this. Johnny Goodtimes reported on it last month. But I was really, really hoping that all those Wawa folks who told JGT they didn't know what he was talking about were telling the truth. That Wawa was alive and well and serving the hungry and broke of Philadelphia. In a word, I was in complete denial.
And so I feel completely betrayed by the sudden rebranding of the space at 20th and Chestnut. It's not even my neighborhood. But it is a neighborhood I'm in frequently. It's a neighborhood near two theatres (The Adrienne and the Philadelphia Shakespeare Festival) that make up four of the city's busiest stages. I can't tell you how many times I've thanked God for the Wawa's proximity to these locations, whether I needed a quick bite before a show or a caffeine kick during intermission. It's also, as one astute JGT commenter noted, near to at least two schools (Freire and another one on about 23rd and Chestnut whose name escapes me) whose students use Wawa as a low-price cafeteria. Is it nutritious? Probably not. But it's cheap, and when you're in an urban high school, that's what matters most.
There is much speculation as to why you're closing up shop, but the general consensus is that you need to stop doing it. And that doing it makes you assholes. Sure, less than a tenth of the city's population lives in Center City, but a much greater proportion than that works here. And they're the ones packing the Wawa at 17th and Arch (allegedly scheduled to close later this month) every day at lunch. It just doesn't make sense to us that you'd close the doors of your successful, probably exceedingly money-making locations near Philly's busiest commercial district.
So what we want to know, Wawa, is why. Why are you forsaking us? Will you ever return? I go out of my way to buy your milk (I think it tastes better than the milk in the convenience store downstairs). I've survived many a nasty cold with thanks to your Italian wedding soup. I have a sentimental attachment to your meatball hoagies and your milkshakes. Hell, I've even written you an epic poem. And this is the thanks that I, and other Center City denizens, get?
Screw you too, Wawa. If you pack up and leave, don't expect me to follow.
Unless it's free milkshake day. In that case, you might find me heading out to the suburbs. (But I'll take your free stuff and not give you a cent.)
Image Credit: Flickr user mstorz
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